Conflict Management: 11 Strategies to Deal with Impasse

What follows are some ways to work with people who seem to be at an impasse in conflict. While sometimes people would rather be stuck than resolve it in a way that concedes anything, there are other times when the skills of a neutral mediator can help parties move parties forward. If you are working with others in conflict, here are some strategies to try. 

1. Back away from trying to solve it and explore what is getting in the way of resolution. Often impasse arises because the helper is trying to move the conflictual parties along before they feel understood and are ready to move forward. Acknowledge their feelings.   
2. Ask more questions. Specifically, ask hypothetical questions and questions that explore their interests. 
3. Try to meet with parties separately. Reflect back what you hear as their interests and emotions.
4. If they wanted to mediate, return to their goals for choosing mediation.
5.  Ask them what will happen if they don’t solve the problem. Ask if the unresolved outcome is preferable to a resolved outcome. 
6.  Help them separate their observations from their conclusions (“So when you saw x, you took it to mean y?”).
7.  Invite them to take on the role of the other by asking them what they think the other person needs from them or why they think the other person would want to accept their idea.
8.  Look for common ground and ask very broad questions that explore it. (“So what is it like for the two of you to work in the same office every day, given things are so tense between you?”). The common ground almost always exists but is usually unstated (and unseen). Acknowledging this can help the parties begin to work together against the problem.
9.  Ask what they want to do next (i.e., don’t feel responsible for solving it).
10.  Ask, “Do you think you can convince them to accept your idea?” 
11.  Ask the parties what would have to happen for them to consider an alternative to their one solution or demand.